Death is a reality. Unfortunately, we don’t take it serious until someone very close to us dies and we are gripped with grief. Suddenly, we realize that we will never see the person again. It becomes more real with passing days and we are forced to accept a fact we are not prepared for.

It is more painful when the person is still young. One would normally expect that an aged person will soon die. Sometimes, we even rejoice especially if the person has lived an exemplary life.

But how do we cope when the unexpected happens? A typical example in the Bible was the case of Lazarus in John 11:1-44. People cried, mourned and were grieved until Jesus raised him back to life.

So, how can God help me with my grief when I lost someone?

1. Accept the fact that the person has passed away. When we quickly accept the reality before us, it reduces our grief. But when we begin to regret or beat ourselves up, our grief will increase. Thinking about what we could have done will fester the wound in the heart. This was what Mary and Martha were doing when Jesus eventually arrived. They told Him, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died (John 11.21).” After Mary said this even Jesus became grieved and wept. This is what happens when we fail to accept the reality and we keep living in regret

2. Cry, Weep and Mourn. Let the tears flow. This is one way to release the grief in the heart. It is dangerous to behave as if nothing serious has happened. It is normal to cry. Jesus also wept at the death of Lazarus. It was His way of expressing His grief. When we cry and weep, we are relieved. It helps us release the pain in the heart, calms our emotions, enhances the mood, clears the vision and aids sleep.

3. Surround yourself with people who can console you. We should avoid being lonely in seasons of grief.

4. Spend time in prayer and meditate on God’s word. In prayer, we release the burdens of our hearts and our griefs are relieved. In the word, we receive inspiration that soothes our heartaches.

5. Be consoled in the hope that you will see the person again. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 says, “And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died.” Mary and Martha consoled themselves in the faith that they would see Lazarus again in the resurrection even before Jesus raised him up. Death is neither final nor fatal. If we die in Christ, we will be raised back to life. This is why it is very important that we pray and work towards the salvation of our loved ones while they are alive. The greatest grief is the realization that a loved died in his or her sins.

In addition, we should take time to rest. With time, we will get over the grief and become refreshed. May we find hope and healing in our seasons of grief.

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